The summer going into my senior year (2006) I went to youth conference in Kansas City, Although satan did everything he could to have me stay home...he told me lies and gave excuses why I shouldnt go. Of course, I believed them. .ohhhhhhh- But we serve a MIGHTY God...and He allowed me to go. :) That week I had an experience that I never had... I felt the LOVE of God. (Growing up in a christian home.. I knew Jesus loved me.. and I loved Jesus.. but until that moment I never had felt it because I didn't allow Him to) Also- God spoke to me..SO PLAINLY-.and I KNEW I was to go to MASTER'S COMMISSION.
In life...we have many "ME" moments...(satan is tricky) and I let those moments over take me.. before long I was doing what I wanted and my senior year that I had "given to God" - I took back for myself. and I tried to be all spiritual with the "I only wanna do God's will" or justify what I was doing or gonna do...with "I still love Jesus and it doesn't matter what I do, As long as I'm happy."
-----> The next 2 years of my life turned into the most MISERABLE. .. I did things I said I never would...and I lived two lives. 1. a life that was walking toward Hell...& 2. a Life that was FAKE. . . . ---> YEP! I KNOW- what a AWESOME way to live!...SO PROMISING. :/.... (sarcasm)
So- after doing my OWN thing.. & following my OWN will and living a life with no PEACE or Joy...God got ahold of me..& He began to draw my heart back to Him . and I knew God was calling me to something... But I had no idea it would be MASTER'S COMMISSION again......my first thought was..
" that was over 3 years ago.. I'm almost 22...I cant start a first year of masters commission."... But I did:) when I said "YES" to masters commission... I felt PEACE. and I will NEVER forget the first day of master's....standing in the sanctuary CRYING because for the first time..I KNEW with ALL MY HEART that I was in GOD's WILL.
The biggest Change I experienced:
The beginning of the year.. I knew I wanted to go "deeper" with God. . and a few weeks into it I felt like there was something keeping me from going deeper....My daily prayer was- " God, Remove the sinful things that keep me from you"...and He answered them.... EVERYDAY God was cutting something out of me... whether it be Jealously, UN-forgivness, Bitterness, Gossip....etc. the list goes on... I know I shouldn't be amazed what comes out.. but I am... Because our flesh wants to hold onto these "little" sins that are really BIG...& we can get so wrapped up in them..And we can never experience God the way He intended us to. ----So I let him cut... and sometimes it was SO HARD...and I would cry because of how sinful I really was!...I learned so much about me....and it wasn't PRETTY!.....
IT'S BEEN AMAZING!
Through out the year.. I had so many AMAZING experiences with My GOD- Being Freed from the lies of Satan....Renewed in many ways... the overcoming of insecurities....and the list goes on...
My Experience of Masters Commission was so wonderful.. and I thank God that He opened the door again for me to go....:)
I'm Sure I will do individual lesson's God has taught me throughout this year....:) You just wait!! <3